The autumnal equinox has finally arrived, and not a moment too soon. September’s been rife with hazards and the hapless hubris of the heinous, so-called “family values,” Republican party. Not at all amusing, and we could all use a few laughs right about now. So I’m going to refrain from discussing North Carolina’s Black Nazi misogynist known as Mark Robinson today. Even though he is a sick joke.
Earlier in the month I wrote a fairly funny (in my estimation) chapter featuring the birth of alien quadruplets named Zephyr, Breeze, Gust, and Cloud taking place in mid-September. It was for Alien Origins, my eighth and final Other Worldly novel starring protagonist Rowan Layne, who somehow witnessed the births without passing out.
I haven’t yet written more chapters due to real-life mid-September having been a political and personal stressor, but the autumn equinox has me realizing I need to fall back on fictional humor in order to survive the next six weeks. Because every day I must fight not to fall for online pundits spreading doomsday scenarios and all-too-real idiots peddling hateful schemes in an attempt to distract, and to scare.
And then there’s the pernicious foreign bots on social media who also target this blog, which I’ll get to momentarily. First, last week I addressed the absurdity of “illegal” aliens—the human variety—the very subject of my books about aliens: bigoted buffoons of Earth. As I begin drafting each story in the Other Worldly series, I revisit previous novels to maintain consistency and bring issues full circle. And as I reread scenes, uncanny connections to present day inevitably surface.
This week a racist birther immigrant bigot who lied to obtain an Einstein visa—because, let’s face it, the only extraordinary ability this atrocity of a former first lady has is manipulation of corrupt morons—is now touting her book and boasting about nude modeling. As an aside, why do publishers give book deals to vapid, ignorant liars?
In any event, most of us really don’t care about the insipid skank’s book, now do we? What I do care about, and what I find most atrocious, is the nerve of this twit to brag about what she did to the White House rose garden. This former Epstein escort is proud of desecrating it. Which so infuriated me back in the day that my contempt found its way into my fifth OW novel, Alien Sensation.
Therein, a female alien sextuplet known as a Red Orbiter who is roughly five years old in human years visits the White House lawn. Her reaction:
“Where are the roses? How can this be a rose garden without roses?” Rowena bellowed. “I want to see and smell the roses!”
Later in the story, Rowena and her sisters actually testify to a congressional committee determined to discredit extraterrestrials regarding their citizenry status. Sound familiar? Here’s what Rowena had to say to them:
“We were told we shouldn’t call you insulting names, so I’ll just say you men act like a word beginning with i and ending with s with seven letters in between. They are g, n, o, r, a, m, u. And I would like answers for this mystery of no roses in the rose garden. What happened there? A pathological need to destroy all living things or just those associated with the color red due to your hatred of Red Orbiters?”
Speaking of pathological, Bill Barr is making headlines again due to From Russia With Lev airing last night. Will he finally be held accountable for his crimes once we get a new US attorney general who might actually take action against high-profile traitors? I’ve previously written about Barr’s schemes, including when I was a rural Nevada newspaper columnist five plus years ago.
In Aliens Abound, third OW novel published in 2021, I created a fictional US AG named Kahn (because it rhymes with con) about whom Rowan Layne has a few things to say:
“That fat fascist is a master Pinocchio puppeteer! It’s he who wants remain in power!”
“We all know he has no professional ethics. I wrote columns about him protecting his twenty-two million dollars. And about how as attorney general, he was supposed to be America’s top lawyer and crime fighter, not the president’s personal fixer and partner in crime.”
Later, Rowan refers to AG Kahn and his corrupt cohorts when she says something to the effect of, it used to be public officials would resign over criminal scandals, now they just blame aliens.
Today’s MAGA moron Republicans continue to blame everyone but themselves for their own insidious complicity, including immigrants they deem “illegal.” Funny, but not really, how those immigrants are never the women they’re married to and have children with. Like the calamitous cretin who destroyed America’s rose garden.
Hence, the need to fall back on comic relief. I get numerous weekly scam comments on my blog posts that are usually in Russian and always involve posts from months ago, like the ones on corrupt Clarence Thomas and the duplicitous mainstream media. But occasionally they’re in broken English.
This morning the message was somewhat comical. From a foreign author (it appears to be Arabic lettering) with a fake Gmail address for “Stephan Wyman” who is supposedly commenting on my post about the launch of my fourth novel, Being Alien, back in 2021. There are several attempts at the same thought, and you can probably see why I found it funny:
“Hi there, I found your site by way of Google whilst looking for a comparable subject, your website got here up, it appears good.
I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
Hello there, simply changed into alert to your weblog through Google, and located that it’s really informative.
I am going to watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you happen to continue this in future. Numerous other folks can be benefited out of your writing.
Cheers!”
I can’t help but note that while the English is broken, this scammer can spell far better than the former felonious president and his MAGA cult goons, and it actually makes use of mostly proper punctuation while refraining from insipid random capitalization.
Here’s to looking out for brussels between now and the election. I’ve heard they’re pretty scary, but I’m not falling for that doomsday crap. May autumn 2024 bring only good and funny and gratifying results. Cheers!