It was a profound and exhilarating experience to be one of 180,000 women on a call (who broke Zoom twice) raising $2 million in two hours for Vice President Kamala Harris to become the next president of the United States, and the first woman to be president. A woman of color.
In case you didn’t already know, that last point was the point. The call was for white women to show their solidarity and support because we cannot make the mistake far too many white women did in 2016 because there was “just something they didn’t like about Hillary” or they didn’t think a woman could win.
NEWSFLASH: A woman can win if you will vote for her. Support her in every way. And that doesn’t mean abandoning Kamala Harris in four years (like many did to Obama) if you didn’t get everything you wanted or your life didn’t magically become perfect because a woman finally served as president.
It’s about time we grow up and stand up for women of color, because we would then be standing up for ourselves, honoring ourselves by doing so. Because silence is not support and being white will not save you from what the autocratic patriarchy that is today’s GOP plans for you. What they’ve already done to destroy civil liberties that adversely affect all women.
Here’s what I found most compelling on that #AnswerTheCall2024 zoom call last night. The discussion about the critical importance of self-love.
Far too many white women go along to get along, allowing their voices to be squelched and outright silenced by others. And why? For friendship? To placate downright toxic familial relationships?
How is it loving for others to only bestow friendship, love, and support to you who does not challenge their bigotry, who does not make waves or hold them accountable for the hate inherent in their behavior and beliefs?
Those who have no self-love do not want their women friends to have it either. Otherwise they would not expect allegiance to their views, their hateful grievance against anyone who is not white or Christian or racist.
If white women will not or cannot speak up, they should at least be aware that when they enter that booth to cast their vote, no one is there with them. No one knows who they are voting for. And they are supposed to have free will. Their vote belongs to them, and them alone.
Look, I know personally and painfully what it’s like to be in a relationship with a man (not much of one, actually) who gets in your face to tell you that you’re the racist because you hate white men. That you hate white men because you won’t support their views, their chosen demagogue, their blatant racism—and misogyny.
I’ve experienced violence and threats because I won’t support racists, fascists and an outright Nazi (it turns out he was). But I didn’t back down from who I am. I pushed back against the hatred and vile racism that made me literally ill. I put myself directly in the line of fire (literally) to do so.
And I will continue pushing back against those who would expect me to be something I’m not. One thing that is painful for me is to see so many of you silent on social media and elsewhere. I don’t know if it’s fear, but I understand that fear. And I understand why some may not be speaking out in public.
But one thing that #AnswerTheCall2024 call emphasized was the importance of one-on-one, speaking out in private, directly to those who would silence you and deny you self-love as well as their love.
The thing is, if you go along to get along, they’ve manipulated you into being them. That’s not getting along, that’s joining in. Caving in. Because silence supports them. They who would render you a second-class citizen only deserving of their support if you stay in line with their ignorance and hatred and don’t challenge them on it.
If it is someone you care about, a female family member or friend you’ve had for years, ask yourself, do they care about you? Or are they still your friends, do they still love you, only because you are perceived to be just like them, a woman who would never vote for or support another woman, especially a person of color?
When I wrote this in my head at 4 a.m. it sounded so much more eloquent. But please know if you are reading this that it is meant with love. I’m learning to love myself too. I’ve made awful mistakes too. I’d like to say I’ve stayed silent, too, but I haven’t really. Ultimately, I cannot remain silent in the face of tyranny and hate towards my gender, and to other races.
Loving ourselves is not an easy task for white women. Loving ourselves enough to speak up for ourselves and support all women, however, is crucial to our very survival. Personal social status is simply not worth living your life in silence.
Answer the call in 2024 before it’s too late. Answer the call for all women, but especially for those of color who have been marginalized far more than we who were privileged enough to be born white in an America that has never fully achieved liberty, equality and justice for all.
If you have read this, thank you. If you wish to participate in, or donate to, electing Kamala Harris as our next president, go to www.AnswerTheCall2024.com